Aftercare

After a scene, grounding is essential. What we experience during play is not only emotional, it is biological. The body releases a flood of chemicals that alter mood and awareness. Cortisol and adrenaline rise to help us manage intensity. Endorphins and dopamine heighten euphoria and dull pain. Oxytocin deepens connection and trust. Together, these hormones and neurotransmitters create a heady mixture of exhilaration, calm, and emotional openness that can feel intoxicating.

Stress is part of this response, but it is not always negative. In the right environment, stress becomes part of the body’s reward loop. The chemical surge that accompanies it heightens focus and sensation, and when paired with consent, trust, and care, that heightened state can be deeply satisfying. Still, the same hormones that amplify pleasure also take time to settle. The body needs space to come down gently and completely.

Immediately after a scene, grounding can take many forms. Some people want quiet conversation, a shared snack, or a warm drink while sitting together. Others prefer silence, gentle touch, or being wrapped in a blanket while they breathe and process what they are feeling. Some like to joke, share memes, or talk about their favorite episode of Star Trek to ease the transition from intensity back into everyday life. There is no universal formula for aftercare. What matters is that the person receiving care gets to decide what feels most relaxing and restorative to them.

These moments of stabilization are not optional courtesies; they are part of the scene itself. Just as negotiation prepares us to begin, aftercare helps us close safely. Staying present during this time allows both people to reconnect, reflect, and ensure that the body’s chemistry and emotions are slowly returning to balance.

The hormonal effects of a scene can linger for two to four days. During that time, many people experience an elevated baseline of energy and mood. When those chemicals fade, the shift can feel abrupt, leaving a temporary sense of emptiness or sadness known as “drop.” This is not weakness or regret. It is the body finding its equilibrium again. Understanding this helps us meet it with compassion instead of confusion.

Because of this, I make a point to check in with clients a few days after a scene. A simple message or call, offering reassurance, conversation, or connection as they adjust. Aftercare is not an afterthought. It is the conclusion of the scene, a practice of respect, care, and responsibility. It is how we honor the trust that was shared, repair the body, and return the spirit safely to center.

I encourage clients to think about what brings them comfort and grounding in their daily lives. How do you take care of yourself when you get home after a rough day at work, or when life feels heavy? Those quiet rituals: music, food, a bath, quiet time, a favorite show can be just as important as what happens immediately after the scene. Knowing what helps you recover from stress in the rest of your life can guide us in creating the kind of aftercare that fits you best.

All this I believe.

Thor